Devil's Advocate

*Note: The following argument isn't necessary what I believe in. I may or may not believe some of it. What I believe in isn't important to the argument. What is important is that it gives your brain something to think about. Something for you to chew on and maybe give a little understanding to people who do think like this. Whether I'm one of them isn't important and possibly none of your business.*
 
Pretend you are in the best relationship you've ever been in. Every time you and your partner see each other, you have a great time. You laugh, you discuss, you challenge each other, you have amazing sex: you are head over heels for each other. Now, pretend that you and your partner have your own social lives, separately, like most normal people do. You go out with your friends, they go out with theirs. Now, pretend that when your partner goes out to the bar, they flirt with the opposite sex. They go as far as to have made out with several people and possibly fucked a couple. They do not love these other people, nor do they ever contact them again. They are madly in love with you and when you are both together, they have only eyes for you. But you never know they are cheating on you. You go through your whole lives together, loving each other. You are happy, happier than you have ever been. Now, you not knowing your partner is cheating on you obviously makes you happier because you do not know this. However, does this mean you have a more healthier relationship than a couple that are together, monogamous, but they are not nearly in love nor happy as you guys are in your relationship? And if your partner confessed to you their behavior on their death bed, but they assure you that you are the one true love of their life and that you made them happier than anyone ever has. Then, they die. Does this make you think your relationship was a whole lie?

Let's look at the first question: is your relationship any better than a monogamous couple whom aren't as happy or in love as yours? In some ways, it does. It shows your partner has self control, they are able to control themselves and be faithful. However, does this make them less happy? Is this the reason why they aren't head over heels for their partner because they can only fuck one person? This person is constantly battling against their primal urges to mate with as many people as possible and on some level, this makes them somewhat miserable. But because they can fight this urge, does this make them better than your partner, that releases that urge, thus making them happier and them being happier makes them happier to be with you and that makes you happier? Morally, I suppose, the other couple would be a better relationship. But why? Because they show self control? Because we've all been brought up to believe that when you love someone, you are only suppose to be with that one person, sexually, only. That your religion says you must be with one person and one person only. But let's redefine faithful, for the purpose of this argument. Faithful; adj. meaning to be emotionally devoted to one person, that they are the only one that brings you true happiness. Nothing in that definition says you have to be sexually faithful to your partner. So the person in the other relationship isn't fully satisfied with their partner. They are content with each other, but never fully happy. By our new definition of faithful, that person isn't being faithful. They are lieing no more than  your partner is to you.

Now, let's look at the second question: if your partner confesses what they have been doing, but assures you that you are the love of their life and you made them happier than anyone else ever has, does this make you think your relationship is a lie? On some level, you will feel betrayed. Nobody likes to be lied to. But, why should that make the fact that that person made you so happy, gave you the best life possible, and you made them so happy: you were truly in love with each other? I argue that a person cannot make someone else happy unless they themselves are happy with themselves. This is true. So that person did what it took to make them happy, but those other people they were fucking were only little things that made them happy. It's no more different than someone else who has to go hiking every weekend to be happy. It relieves the stress your partner has, it satisfies their self confidence, and they come home to you, eager to be with the one thing that makes them feel complete. It may sound selfish, but you have to take care of your needs and wants to be happy first before you can make your partner happy. This isn't saying you are less important to your partner, quite the opposite: they want to be the best they can be for you. And, this is stressed, you are the main thing that made your partner happy. So, why couldn't they just be happy with you and no one else? You would never get that answer because your partner died right after they confessed. Everyone has their needs and wants met and your partner just had to have that thrill of the hunt and closing in to satisfy those needs and want. And, if you truly and deeply loved your now dead partner, wouldn't you want them to do what makes them happy outside of you? You don't want to be their whole world and vise versa. But would you have felt better had your partner came to you in the beginning and told you, "Look, I am so fucking in love with you. You make me smile like no one else. You make my heart skip beats. You are smart, sexy, amazing in bed, and you are my true love. However, like a normal person, I have a hobby and that hobby is to hunt other people, flirt, and make the kill, so to speak. This doesn't mean I love you any less, in fact, it makes me love you more. I have to tell you this because I have to be honest. Are you okay with this?". Face value, you'd be like, "Hell no!". But that's because you haven't been in the relationship long enough to know that this is the best relationship for you. In a round about way, this person would know that and they hid this from you to protect you and your feelings. They knew what was best for the relationship and they did it.

So, what are the answers? Depends on the person and people, I suppose. But, since I'm playing Devil's Advocate, here are the answers: You and your partner have a much better relationship than the monogamous couple. And no, your relationship isn't a lie, although it would have been better if your partner had never told you because it will, in a small way, taint your perfect relationship.

Ignorance, after all, is bliss.

-Crazy Eights