I can say a few things with confidence. I am one of the best pharmacy technicians ever, I am a Head Doctor, and I'm very good with being social. One thing I've learned over the years, something I didn't know I had, but I have heard over and over again: Jess, you have amazing style! One of my first boyfriends when I moved to Glendale had no style whatsoever. I mean, the guy wore sandals with socks. SANDALS WITH MOTHERFUCKING SOCKS PEOPLE! He's lucky he looked like a low-rent Paul Walker. However, over the time we were together, I taught him fashion. By the end of the relationship, he was wearing cool shirts, good looking jeans, and I even got him amazing shoes. Of course, this gave him confidence. And with that confidence, he left me. Should have trade marked that shit.
Then my friend Jazzhands. She never really had style before. But then she started noticing the outfits I was wearing and she then started tagging along when I went shopping. She then started picking stuff out and asking my opinion. It got to the point where she would send me picture messages over the phone, asking for my approval. She said I had a great sense of style and fashion. She even wanted to hire me as her fashion consultant.
My current boyfriend, when we met, he had okay style. He's very self conscious. He's never had good self esteem about himself and wore things that just didn't fit right. Now, if you could see my boyfriend, you'd wonder how anyone could think he's anything other than handsome. He's very good looking. Same thing happened: we hang out together, he caught on to my understanding of fashion, and now he has great clothes and shoes. But he will not buy anything unless I approve. We talked about it today as I tried on a new shirt and asked him if he liked it. He said, "Baby, you look good in everything you put on. I have never seen you look bad in anything. You just have so much style!".
Now, let me explain why I think this is weird. My best friend of 22 years, Lucky, is just gorgeous. She is tall, naturally blonde, pretty face and smile, and an amazing body (Note to Lucky if she reads this: YOU HAVE AN AMAZING BODY!). If I didn't have bigger tits than her and a ghetto booty, I would have to kill her. But she is someone that can literally put on anything and it looks good on her. I have sat and watched her put on clothing after clothing, all of it looking amazing on her. But she's not always confident in what to wear, so it takes time, but she naturally has style. She's very modest about her sense of style, but she's just one of those people that look good in anything. She's built like a super model.
Me? I'm not built like a super model. Now, since my disease thing, I've lost 30 pounds, and before that I lost 20 pounds (being poor I lived off of jello, yogurt, and beer). But at my biggest I was 240. Now I'm down to 177. I'm also 5'8", so I'm not morbidly obese. But I'm not built like most girls in Arizona. It's fucking hot here. All the time. So girls work extra hard to have that tight little body because you wear short-shorts and bikinis. I'm an hour glass figure with a ghetto booty, thick, and I am proud of it. I don't look like any other girl. I learned from someone who actually betrayed me to place my tattoos in different places. She had the most amazing tattoo of the villain from Sleeping Beauty on her thigh, but she never wore shorts. So, unless she was swimming or you were about to get naked, not a lot of people saw it. Now, granted, having a huge tattoo on my chest isn't discreet, but I've seen a million of girls with tattoos on their chest and they just don't carry it as well.
I digress. I'm not someone that you would expect to know fashion and style. But I can spot a fashion trend before it explodes. I remember in high school, I saw a picture of a girl with her hair in front twisted and held together with little clippies. I remember thinking "This is what everyone is going to be doing soon". I was right. I unknowingly studied style while working at Walgreens as there was always People and US Weekly in the break room. So, I have actual knowledge of fashion. But what makes me styling? I was talking to my boyfriend tonight and he said I have confidence when I dress. Then he said, "Baby, I dress for me. I like to look good for me." I've said this so many times and now it clicks: I dress for me, so I unknowingly spit out style. And it's true. Since he started dressing for him and his self esteem, he looks so much better. So, now, my imaginary readers, you know the secret to dressing better: confidence and dress for yourself. You'll be stylin' in no time at all!
I just hope my current boyfriend doesn't leave me like the one in the first paragraph. I'm getting this one trade marked.
-Crazy Eights
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